CRAZY TARIFFS
Pet Camp’s New Canine Rarity Assessment Zone for You – AKA our CRAZY Tariffs
Effective April 15th
At Pet Camp, we know tariffs can feel like a dog chasing its tail—confusing, chaotic, and maybe just a little dramatic. But don’t worry—we’re here to toss you the treat of clarity. So, sit, stay, and let’s roll over these new changes together!
Why April 15th?
If the folks in D.C. think tariffs rake in the big bucks, we want in—especially while we’re sending our own check to Uncle Sam.
How Will CRAZY Tariffs Work?
We’ve got a formula (who doesn’t?) and an explanation (you won’t get that from D.C.). This isn’t a full list—it’s a fun sample. We reserve the right to change our minds at any time (just like the government does).
CRAZY TARIFF CHART
| Breed | Tariff | Explanation |
| English Bulldog | 10% | High maintenance and totally lovable. |
| English Mastiff | 0% | In memory of Marmalade. We’d import more of her if we could. |
| French Poodle | 10% | Fancy and fluffy—classic import status. |
| French Bulldog | 25% | We know, same country as the Poodle… but really? |
| German Shepherd | 10% | High function, high focus—worth every percent. |
| Belgian Malinois | 100% | If you know, you know. |
| Shiba Inu (Japan) | 10% | Small, but mighty. |
| Akita (Japan) | 10% | Regal, stoic, and serious. |
| Chinese Crested (China) | ?? | Whatever D.C. is using today. |
| Chow Chow (China) | ?? | Lion dog + cat energy = mystery rate. |
| Basenji (Congo) | 25% | Barkless? Screams instead. We call BS. |
| Irish Wolfhound | 0% | A nod to Virginia Donohue. |
| Xoloitzcuintli (Mexico) | 10% | Smooth, sleek, hairless, and taxed. |
| Newfoundland | 0% | Tali and Norman say “nope”—we listen. |
| Labrador Retriever | 25% | Same region as the Newfie, but you’re too popular. |
| Rhodesian Ridgeback | 10% | Sleek and smart—low to mid tariff. |
| Great Pyrenees | 10% | Majestic floof with moderate duty. |
| Portuguese Water Dog | 10% | Adventurous and hypoallergenic. |
| Finnish Lapphund | 10% | Underrated cold-climate cutie. |
This program starts April 15th, but just like D.C.’s favorite moves—we’re offering a 90-day implementation pause to help you adjust.
Questions? Confused? We suggest you start listening to Marketplace with Kai Ryssdal (and if you do, make sure you tell him we sent you so we can become one of his favorite small businesses). If you already listen to Kai and still think our CRZAY tariff plan is – well – CRAZY; feel free to bark at us; we’re here with plenty of treats, lots of kisses, and a snarky answer or two.
Thanks for reading and hopefully laughing.